


I'm doing better than I ever was

by scydiastilinski



Category: Outer Banks (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, M/M, bit of flashbacks to important moments, post S1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 20:33:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25282438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scydiastilinski/pseuds/scydiastilinski
Summary: JJ has never been the type to pine over someone, until the morning were 15 years old Pope sent him a disapproving look, his hand slipping into his pocket, revealing a chapstick, “You need to stop biting your lips,” Pope remarked, hand on one cheek as the other rolled the chapstick on JJ’s lips. JJ felt his cheeks heat up, especially the one underneath his best friend’s palm, his eyes were captivated by the other’s lips and the thoughts of every time he saw him apply the same chapstick on those same lips.
Relationships: JJ/Pope (Outer Banks)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71





	I'm doing better than I ever was

The 3 P.M. sunlight warms up the room through the open window, a not so gentle reminder for JJ that they could be in the semi cold water surfing rather than Pope’s room, on bed swarmed by textbooks that include numerous highlighted sentences more than his liking, lots of practice tests that Pope searched on the internet, and many papers scattered around them. One minute JJ is asking questions with clear aim to more than just pass tomorrow’s test, but the next, he’s lying on his stomach, and the attention is on the focused boy sitting crossed legged next to him, he attempts to keep the glances at a minimum, although he assumes Pope is noticing by the little smile that’s tugging at his lips and the way his hand travels to his blonde hair, gently running his fingers through it, muttering a small, “focus.” JJ just hums in contentment encouraging him to keep his ministration.  
  
JJ has never been the type to pine over someone, until the morning were 15 years old Pope sent him a disapproving look, his hand slipping into his pocket, revealing a chapstick, “You need to stop biting your lips,” Pope remarked, hand on one cheek as the other rolled the chapstick on JJ’s lips. JJ felt his cheeks heat up, especially the one underneath his best friend’s palm, his eyes were captivated by the other’s lips and the thoughts of every time he saw him apply the same chapstick on those same lips.  
  
JJ likes to stare at Pope’s lips, likes to make him roll his eyes, likes to touch him, likes to make him swear, likes to make him laugh in a way that makes his whole face glow, likes to make him let loose, likes to make him feel safe, needed and loved. So yeah, pining is a thing he does now and enjoys more than he would like to admit, Well… Maybe except the few weeks where he thought he forever lost him to Kiara, that shit hurt like hell.  
  
For at least a month, they have been past the stage where their feelings are unknown to each other, they know it’s mutual. They do things that they know wouldn’t be doing with anyone else, they catch themselves in moments were kisses could happen, touches are initiated more often, the cuddles crossed the platonic line by miles and miles, space became something unfamiliar when they’re in each other’s company, heck, the last time he has been intimate with someone was before he moved into the Heywards household and it’s something Pope noticed and mentioned, but JJ just shrugged it off.  
  
He adores it all, Mornings’ lazy smiles, afternoons’ distractions, evenings’ stress dissuading bike rides, midnights’ sneak outs from their bedroom window to sit on the roof and lose track of time. On that said rooftop, JJ became aware of Pope’s mutual feelings. It was the 7th of November, it was cold and way past midnight, but they had each other and the blunt they were passing to keep them warm. They were on a happy kind of high, no pain waiting to be numbed. They giggled and reminisced over him almost falling from the rooftop earlier, “I saved your ass,” Pope nudged his shoulder with his, a grin splattered on his face. The words sobered JJ a bit, making him look at Pope with a mix of seriousness and gratitude, “You really did.” They both knew it had an underlying meaning and wasn’t about the rooftop incident, it’s more about the safety blanket Pope and his parents tucked JJ in. His gaze was fixated on Pope’s, even following it as it fell on his lips, it sent him a sudden rush of adrenaline that urged him to lean forward, he watched Pope’s eyelids flutter close as he did. In a few shared breaths later, the moment was broken by Pope, he wistfully announced, “I’m wasted.” JJ didn’t need him to elaborate on that, he didn’t want the feeling of their first kiss to be vaguely remembered as well, therefore he extinguished the blunt, then rested his head on Pope’s shoulder and let himself be completely draped with everything Pope, starting from the blue sweatshirt he’s wearing and ending with Pope’s arms finding their way around him to snuggle him in deeper. JJ recalls feeling sore, predicting how they would probably cower in the morning.  
  
Pope taking his fingers off his mussed up hair to occupy the calculator, drags him out of his wanderings. At that sad departure JJ displays his pout out there right in the open for him to witness, but Pope’s eyes are glued somewhere else. JJ for a second debates if he should just bluntly demand Pope to pay attention to him.  
  
An hour flies by, filled with questions, patient explanations and reassuring touches. JJ yawns, not taking it anymore, hence why he flips on his back, stretching as he does. He begins to rub his eyes and when his hand is off his face, he’s smiling lazily, drinking up the different view, much more appealing, despite the glare, and before he even suggest what’s on his mind, Pope disagree as if he’s reading it, “No No NO, JJ. No break.”  
  
“Just 15 minutes. Who am I kidding? I’m willing to settle for 12 at this point.”  
  
“You’re funny,” Pope praises offhandedly, eyes on the notes he’s taking.  
  
“Thank you bro, but what about the break?”  
  
“Let us get through this section first.”  
  
“Or we can take a break first?” JJ shifts back on his stomach, rests his cheek on Pope’s clad thigh then grants him a look that their ‘deny, deny, deny’ motto would never stand a chance against. Pope rolls his eyes and caves in, puts his pen between the pages marking where they reached before shutting the book in front of him, “You’re the worst boyfriend, you know that?”  
  
JJ eyebrows fly up to his hair, well almost (he has a big forehead okay?) as he registers what came out of his best friend’s mouth. He witnesses the moment Pope becomes aware of what he just beautifully claimed him as, the rose tint painting his cheek is a telltale, along with the way he is avoiding his gaze.  
  
“It’s okay,” JJ murmurs, an intangible smile weaving through his voice and the physical one is on top of Pope’s thigh along with the fingertips of his right hand. He’s alarmed by how easy this could be. He won’t let them retreat, God knows how many times they reeled from an almost and further happiness, this can lead to what could be akin to perfect, so his beam grows bigger in need to show the joy the other induces. JJ begins to sit up, his left hand replaces his cheek as he goes, “more than okay actually and as your boyfriend I think we should take a much needed break.” He pauses his stacked up with excitement sentence as their faces align and uses his mouth to plant his chapped lips on Pope’s softer ones, it takes a moment for the surprise to wear off enough for Pope to respond, a feeling almost identical to bliss washing over him. It’s tender, and there’s playfulness into it, like they’re summing up their relationship in one gesture. It’s a major contrast from every thoughtless kiss he had with anyone. His right hand wanders Pope’s arm till it reaches his cheek to cradle it. He lets his lips linger and his nose nudge the other’s in the process of pulling back. Waves of delight take over when he opens his eyes to find Pope’s bewildered gaze pouring into his, attempting to analyze what just happened.  
  
JJ thinks he sees a flicker in them or it could be a trick of light, though he doubts the former, because Pope is hauling his face with both hands towards his fuller lips, the delicacy of the previous kiss long gone, fervency dominating it this time. It’s the kind that leaves your eyebrows frowning, your grip firmer, and makes you think of how far you two came and the hurt that you endured from the world and each other along the way. They form a pattern of unspoken I love you’s and sorry’s, until the need of oxygen compels them to think of drifting apart. Not ready to end the moment, they kiss once, twice, thrice between each inhale and exhale before they finally pull their lips apart. Not ready to let go, entirely, Pope keeps his forehead against JJ’s and JJ keeps his fingers wrapped around Pope’s wrists, thumbs caressing his pulse points, “Calling me your boyfriend then kissing me like that isn’t doing your need to finish studying any favors,” he can feel Pope’s breaths fanning his face as he chuckles, the sound of it is a cue for JJ to open his eyes to soak up the sight, there’s a twinkle in his dark eyes, suited with a shade of light red tainting his cheeks, he gets the urge to kiss it, so he does then brush it with his own cheek on his way to dip his head right on the junction between his shoulder and neck.  
  
“I figured, but I don’t regret it,” Pope reflects, his toned arms circles JJ’s back, his right fingertips are combing through hair, but then they pause to give his right index a moment to write confessions over his lover’s spine, JJ’s heart beats faster with each letter, “I know this a bit fast forward,” He hears the sincerity he always known Pope for in his voice. JJ presses his smile on his skin, and then writes a confession of his own on Pope’s back. When he’s done, he’s being held tighter and in return he lets his smile kiss the skin underneath it.  
  
The silence that wraps them is peaceful, but it’s over too soon when the front door opens and Mrs. Heyward is calling for her son. JJ withdraws first, hating himself for it because he instantly misses the contact. “She probably needs help with putting away the grocery. I’ll go do it. You-” He pauses, eyeing the pile of schoolwork from where he’s standing now, then points in a circle towards it, “do something about this, make it less or something.”  
  
He receives a smile and at it he turns around towards the door, his footsteps so much lighter matching his heart. When he’s by the door frame, he hears Pope calling for him, “Hey, JJ.” He stops to look at him, “Yeah?”  
  
“Something tells me that now you’ll be trying harder to keep my parents pleased.”  
  
He really should be used to it by now, but he still finds himself taken back by how easily and fast Pope could read him, after all he knows him best. Whatever discomfort was there fade when Pope walks towards him, smiles at him, holds his face and lets all the fondness seep all over his words, “It’s sweet, but I promise that you don’t have to. They love you like you’re their own son. Which is a little weird now since we are-”  
  
“Boyfriends,” JJ finishes it, a pure look of delight plastered on his face.  
  
“To be honest, I was going for dat-” JJ shakes his head, the endearment couldn't be more visible on his face. “Shut up, Pope. Just shut up,” He cuts off Pope’s teasing with a big kiss that could easily lead to one of them hovering above the other on bed, if the sound of Mrs. Heyward moving around the kitchen isn’t audible.  
  
Reluctantly they part, Pope’s right hand trails down from JJ’s cheek to his fingers, awaking goosebumps along the way, and before he knows it JJ finds himself being pulled towards the hallway, “let’s do this together.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you're reading this, I'm assuming you read the fic so THANK YOU. Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated <3  
> If you find any mistakes, just smile and nod, English isn't my first language, I almost put it as a warning at the start but didn't do it because I feel like people would feel discouraged to read the fic, I have the mind of a master mind- what's that? idk but you know I'm so creative like that (Please tell me you get the reference) anyways thank you <3  
> Fic title is from the song Call It What You Want by Taylor swift.  
> Side note, I've never smoked a blunt, idk if it makes you feel warm or if it makes you forget a little, I assumed so sorry if I got it wrong.


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